Trying to write and share about my daily journey with play has been far more difficult than I initially thought possible. This morning as I was writing, praying and reflecting I began to think of all the barriers to play in our daily lives. Some of the barriers are the same things we deal with daily to run our homes and families. But, there are other barriers that can suck the life and play right out of us.
Here are a few:
The need to be in control.
Not being able to let loose and relax.
Following our to-do list which dictate our time management.
Fear of failure.
The funny thing about our barrier is that when we allow them to stop us from playing it steals ourselves and our family the deep connection play gives our relationship. Dr. Lawrence J. Cohen says, “when we get disconnected from children and we do again and again-play is our best bridge back to deep connection with them.”
Learning to be a playful parent has been the hardest for me. My natural tendency is to talk, lecture and be the authoritarian. Just this weekend I got an email saying my son is missing assignments in school. My husband and I jumped right into lecturing mode and inevitably our son shut us out. The problem is not solved and the only thing we did was frustrate him and ourselves.
The more I learn about playful parenting the more I realize there is a different approach to getting our children to talk. Allowing them to have the control is not easy yet, when we relinquish our need to be right they in turn can let their guard down and give insight into what is going on with them. We are beginning to see the need for play is not just for me but for our family as a whole.
Taking time to play a game of Monopoly, Sorry or even g has give me new insight into how my son thinks and operates. In the middle of the game he will start telling stories about his teacher, classmates and even things he has experienced on the playground at lunch time. It is amazing what play does for connection and how it gives us a glimpse into our children’s heart.
I am still learning to make this a priority but playing board games with my family has definitely become a BIG joy in our daily lives.
If you are struggling with connecting with your kids may I suggest you try to play with them… and do not get upset like I did when my husband continued to beat us at Monopoly game after game. Playing games with your kids is a win-win even when you lose.
Go play and have fun with your family!
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